Cynthia's Secret
by ears313
Summary: Cynthia, the annoying, smelly Krelboyne girl returns, as slovenly as ever and is doing another strange thing. Cynthia and Malcolm are seniors in high school now, as you know.
1. Chapter 1

**I hate the character Cynthia. I thought this story would be a lot of fun and hilarious.**

It's Saturday morning and Malcolm and Reese are home from work. Lois and Hal are visiting a relative's place miles away. They took Jamie with them. Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey are home by themselves.  
They are watching television. Suddenly, the doorbell rings.  
Malcolm answers it promptly.  
To his surprise, on his doorstep was Cynthia.  
"What brings you here?" Malcolm asked, "I haven't seen you in awhile."  
Cynthia farted, the fart was both very loud and very smelly. Reese and Dewey heard it, even though they were watching TV. The fart was so audible that it could be heard throughout the house.  
"I just wanted to say 'hi'," Cynthia said. Her hair was messy and she was wearing a T-shirt and jeans with stains on them.  
She entered the house before Malcolm granted her permission to proceed. She plopped herself on the couch next to Dewey and Reese.  
"What are you doing here?" Reese asked. Cynthia was very smelly, she smelled like a mixture of defecation, flatulence, onions, and dried urine. Cynthia has a very smelly butt and she farts very often. Her bedroom is very smelly and has a heavy stench of her body and butt odor.  
Cynthia didn't answer him. She scratched her left armpit.  
She farted again, and this time the fart was silent. But it was still very smelly. Any other girl would be very embarrassed if she farted like that.  
The three people just watched TV in silence as Malcolm went into the kitchen and sat at the table and read a book.  
Reese took the remote control and began to channel surf.  
After channel surfing for a few moments, he put the remote down after discovering a movie. The movie caught his interest. It was a comedy movie.  
Cynthia stood up from the sofa and stretched. After stretching, she scratched her butt. She farted silently and very smelly again.  
"I have to go to the bathroom," she said.  
She ran off to the bathroom and shut the door.  
In the bathroom, Cynthia pulled down her jeans and her Fruit of the Loom men's brief.  
She sat on the toilet and pushed. Defecation dropped into the toilet bowl, and it sounded like a cantaloupe dropping into the water.  
She then stood up to wipe her butt and she flushed the toilet.  
Cynthia washed her hands, pulled her underwear back up, and her jeans. She opened the door.  
Dewey decided to use the bathroom next.  
When he was in the bathroom, he twitched his nose in disgust.  
"It smells in here!" he cried.  
Anybody would be very embarrassed if they were in Cynthia's place.  
But Cynthia wasn't embarrassed. She laughed about it. Yuck.  
Cynthia sat on the couch with Reese again.

Cynthia sat at the couch with ease next to Reese, watching the movie. About an hour passed, without Cynthia farting. Then, during commercial break, Cynthia farted again.

The fart sounded very clownish. It was smelly, and the sound was similar to a clown squeezing his nose or squeaking a balloon. Cynthia burst into laughter. She used

to be ashamed of her flatulence but not anymore. She thinks it's hilarious, and she farts very often, more often than the typical teenage girl.

"Did you hear that?" Cynthia asked Reese.

"What?" Reese said.

"I just farted," she said.

"Yeah I heard that," he said.

"How crude," Dewey remarked.

"What's so crude about that?" Cynthia asked.

"Don't you have any manners?" Dewey asked.

"I'll think I'll take a walk around the block," Cynthia the slob said after the movie. Cynthia was walking around the block when suddenly, her pants got caught in a nail.

It ripped off, revealing her Fruit of the Loom men's brief.

Cynthia felt embarrassed for awhile. Then, she thought it was funny!

She laughed out loud, and began to jog around the block. People passing by

stared at her. Never before have they seen someone wander around outside with their underwear exposed.

"I am the queen," Cynthia chanted as she jogged in her Fruit of the Loom brief.

Cynthia has a wide collection of underwear.

She doesn't wear panties with lace like some other women do.

Included in her collection are big Hanes and Fruit of the Loom underpants for women

with big bands with the brand names "Hanes" and "Fruit of the Loom" written on the big bands.

If somebody pulled down her pants or if her pants got ripped off by accident, the

words "Fruit of the Loom" and "Hanes" are visible on her underpants. They are written on the big bands of her underwear. Some of her underpants had fruit prints on them.

"They're my fruity underwear!" Cynthia cried passionately.

Just last year, Cynthia became obsessed with Hanes and Fruit of the Loom commercials.

She saw men riding motorcycles wearing nothing but briefs.

Cynthia decided to start wearing men's briefs herself. She knew that this was strange

because she was a girl. Why would a girl wear men's underwear?

Cynthia felt thrilled with the idea. She rushed to the nearest department store and bought

two packs of men's underwear. One pack was a pack of Fruit of the Loom men's briefs and the other was a pack of Hanes' men's briefs.

As Cynthia stood in front of the mirror in her bedroom, wearing a men's brief for the first

time, she felt a thrill. She farted out loud and smelly, and the fart was so loud that it

nearly shattered the mirror.

One day, somebody caught Cynthia wearing men's briefs. That was her secret, wearing

men's briefs.

"What is the matter with you?" the person cried.

"I like it," Cynthia snapped, farting. Her butt is also the smelliest butt in the world.

"Stop wearing men's underwear," the person said, "And be a woman!"

"I'm still a woman," Cynthia snarled.

Cynthia didn't know what to call herself. She was still a woman, but it was strange

that she was wearing men's underwear.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day Cynthia awoke at noon in her Fruit of the Loom men's brief and T-shirt.

She farted as she climbed out of bed. She stretched and yawned.

The fart was extremely loud and smelly.

Cynthia walked to the window of her room and scratched her butt as she looked through it.

It was a clear sunny day. The sky was as blue as a person's eyes.

Cynthia sighed. She pondered what to do for the day. It was Sunday.

After a few minutes she walked out of her bedroom. She was still in her underwear.

As she climbed down the stairwell she farted again.

This fart was just as loud and smelly as the first fart she let out in her room.

The fart echoed throughout the stone corridor.

Cynthia burst into laughter about it.

Cynthia was alone in the kitchen of her home.

She searched in the pantry. She pulled out a box of yellow cake mix.

"I know what to do!" Cynthia cried happily.

She opened the box and poured the cake mix into a large bowl.

She followed the directions and prepared the cake mix.

She put the batter into a large rectangular cake pan and placed it into the oven.

After the cake was done and taken out of the oven Cynthia placed

the cake on the counter and waited for it to cool.

After it cooled Cynthia dumped the cake out of the pan and placed it on a large

piece of cardboard.

She took a large tub of vanilla icing and covered the entire cake with rich vanilla frosting.

After that Cynthia decided that she wanted to decorate the cake.

Cynthia knew how to decorate a cake and she did that well.

She then sat on a chair and wondered what she should do to the cake.

After she made up her mind she took an icing pen and lined the edges of the cake

with blue frosting. Then she drew fruits on the cake with different colors of icing.

She drew a large red apple. She drew a bunch of green grapes. She drew a bunch

of purple grapes. Then she drew currants. Then she wrote "Fruit of the Loom"

with black icing on the cake.

"I'm done!" Cynthia cried merrily.

Cynthia farted as she admired her new creation.

This blast of flatulence was so nasty that anybody would be disgusted of it.

That fart of hers was very nauseating!

"I must share this cake with others!" Cynthia cried. She took

the cordless phone and began to dial Malcolm's number.

On the phone she told Malcolm to get Reese to invite people from school

to a party at her house.

She hosted a party five years ago in fact. She was very bubbly and excited

about planning this party. Malcolm discouraged her from doing this.

He told her that she wasn't popular enough to host a party. Cynthia

put flyers all around the school so everyone would know about it.

Malcolm groaned and he finally took Cynthia into the boy's bathroom

and showed her all of the nasty stuff the boys wrote about her on the walls.

Cynthia immediately felt disheartened.

Then at the night of the party Malcolm came to her house and tried to make

her feel better.

Cynthia was sad and called herself a social retard.

Just as she was moaning a group of kids showed up at her door

and asked about the party. They said that they picked up the flyers from the school library.

Cynthia was both stunned and overjoyed and she invited them in!

Soon her house was filled with many kids from school and the party happened after all.

Now five years later Cynthia was hoping that the same people would come to this party.

While waiting for the guests to arrive Cynthia quickly decided to make additions to the cake.

She drew men's and women's underwear on the cake.


End file.
